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Jeevansathi.com

Cancer and Matrimony

Cancer may be a life threatening ailment. But, with advances in medicine, it is now hardly life stopping! In fact, post treatment; many consider life to be a brand new beginning with a fresh perspective on life and understanding the true and deeper implications of love, care and companionship. Post surgery, radiation and/or chemotherapy, many survivors have been leading full, active and fulfilling lives. Some have been afflicted by cancer after marriage and have lead a meaningful and satisfying married life. And, therefore, those who are young and un-married need not consider cancer as an impediment to their marriage prospects or enjoying a satisfying love life. Even those operated with ovarian or cancers live happy and satisfying married lives.

However, we strongly recommend all cancer survivors to first speak to their doctor, particularly the oncologist before considering matrimony. Generally, doctors recommend patients to wait for at least 5 years after treatment. It's called the remission period and after which chances of recurrence are minimal. Following are a few real life stories of people who have survived cancer, got married, had children and are REAL LIFE HEROES. We call them 'Victors', for they epitomize the human spirit of resilience and the triumph of the spirit to overcome all odds and life a Full and Fruitful married life.

V Care Foundation

Founded in 1994, more than a decade of service has taught us that cancer affects everyone, whether through a personal diagnosis of that of a friend, family member or neighbor. V Care fights cancer on multiple fronts, offering a wide range of programs and services that are free of charge and easily accessible through hospitals and centres in person or by telephone.

V Care events, programs and other activities allow cancer patients, survivors, family and friends and volunteers to take an active role in the fight against cancer. Today, V Care reaches more than 4,000 cancer patients annually, but there's need to do more. With your support, V Care can expand its outreach.

To know more about our work and our support programmes - www.vcarecancer.org

Cancer myths related to matrimony

Following are myths about cancer
  1. It is contagious
  2. It is inherited
  3. It can be caused by an injury
  4. It is a disease of the elderly
  5. It is painful
  6. It is a punishment
  7. Radiation and Chemotherapy are dangerous
  8. Cancer means death
  9. Cancer means loss of control
Cancer survivor success story
Shailaja Vasu

My name is Shailaja. I was born in a town called Siddapur and for the most part, raised in Karwar in Karnataka located on the west coast of India. I had a normal childhood and adolescence until my world was rocked by a diagnosis of Hodgkin's Lymphoma in my late teens. Struggle for survival then consumed my life for a few years when I had to combat a bout of brain fever as well.

Through the miraculous efforts of my doctors at TMH spearheaded by Dr. Tapan Saikia, there was sun shine again in my life when I was pronounced to be in remission. Marked by periodic visits to the hospital, the next few years of my life were focused on recovery and supporting my family as my mother suffered from severe arthritis. She eventually succumbed to it.

My life then took an unexpected turn when, through the intervention of Dr. Saikia, I met Vasu who is from Visakhapatnam located on the east coast of India, also treated at the TMH. Separated by language, region and background but brought together by the common bond of suffering, we got married. But, those moments of preparing to go join my husband in the USA again turned dark as my father was suddenly diagnosed with liver cancer and passed away in a few months. After that, finally, I went and joined my husband in New York.

I started taking evening classes at the New York University. This experience opened up my horizons and eventually led to securing a job at a local high school in the library. But, again the shadows of cancer were cast on my life as I had to be operated on for a liposarcoma. As I was recouping from that surgery, all of a sudden, my younger brother, who had been a pillar of support during my ordeal and had just fathered his first child was diagnosed with a brain tumor. He succumbed to it in no time. It took me a few years to recover from that devastating event. Being in a foreign land and being occupied by a job that I loved helped me immensely in recovering from that shock.

Right now, my husband and I are leading contented lives, spending much time in prayer. If there is one lesson that I have derived from my experiences it is that one can only take the gift of life moment by moment and use it to contribute the best one can.

Apart from saving my life, Dr. Saikia and others at TMH also helped me find a life partner! Whenever I tell this story to anyone in the US or India, people cannot even believe that a doctor could be helping a patient at such a personal level. I know it is not possible in all cases but, having experienced cancer at an early age along with the unspoken taboos it brings to one's life, I can only wish that other patients like me would have doctors like Dr.Saikia on their side.

Recognizing that it is not always possible for doctors to support patients at that personal level, I so very much appreciate the efforts of VCare in bridging that gap in trying to help patients not only be cured physically but recover mentally and spiritually. Having been the victim seeing family members trying their best to support me; and, being on the other side helplessly watching my brother and father lose their lives, I cannot over emphasize the importance of holistic support not just for the patient but for the whole family. l. I know it is not possible in all cases but, having experienced cancer at an early age along with the unspoken taboos it brings to one's life, I can only wish that other patients like me would have doctors like Dr.Saikia on their side.

My name is Vasu. I was born in Hyderabad and raised at Visakhapatnam. I remember growing up with ambitions to become a chartered accountant to pave a way for myself into the world of business until I was diagnosed with a testicular tumor that completely altered the course of my life.

In retrospect, my whole cancer experience is enveloped in luck - bad and good. Bad luck in that I was born with an undescended testicle that went undiagnosed until at about 15 when I realized it for myself. After I realized that something was wrong, it took a while for me to gather enough courage to go see a doctor who immediately suggested urgent surgery for the removal of the undescended testicle.

The removal is done as a rule as the undescended testicle is known to be prone to malignancy. However, as destiny would have it, I was operated by a much respected surgeon at that time who decided to bring the testicle down into the scrotum instead of removing it which was/is the overwhelming medical norm and recommendation. I guess, quite predictably, that caused a tumor and I had to undergo another surgery for the removal of the tumor. We were advised that Radiation is the only possible treatment and that it should begin immediately. The treatment started.

This is when good luck came to us in the form of a family doctor friend who advised my father to take me to Tata Memorial Hospital in Bombay instead of just continuing treatment in Visakhapatnam. Once the doctors at TMH were contacted, my life was saved with the correct treatment of Chemotherapy initiated.

The treatment concluded in Dec 1986 with a radical retroperitoneal lymph node detection surgery by Dr. J.N. Kulkarni. But then, good luck again came my way as I joined a Master's Program in Computer Applications right after that surgery. The university environment helped me jump back into normal life.

However, during that time I was still under the five year watch period and was not sure about the future or about my goals. I then focused my energies towards going to America to study Rehabilitation Counseling as I thought that would help me towards making myself useful towards the cancer community. I was hoping to carve out a career combining my background in computers and psychology in developing computer systems for automated counseling. But this period of discovery would not have been possible without the total belief, understanding and support from my parents. Due to their utmost support and sacrifice, I could eventually reach USA to pursue a Master's program in Rehabilitation counseling.

But again, as luck would have it, I could not complete the program in the USA due to financial constraints. I had to give up in the middle and seek a job in software. I was feeling down with that bad luck but slowly the turn of good luck came again with the interventions of Dr. Gopal and Dr. Saikia who introduced us to Shailaja's family and I found my life partner in her. Right now, I am pursuing a career in technology and also working towards writing and directing a feature film as I had an opportunity to foster that interest in the USA by studying filmmaking in the evening time after work.